You Can Never Tell With Kids…

Eva&Davidhome

When my children started speaking, it didn’t take long for David and Eva to begin speaking in sentences. For Samuel it took a little longer. Now, my son who was last to speak in a sentence is first in being able to answer questions in a meaningful way. In fact, he is almost at the stage where you can have a conversation with him, which I think is astounding!

Watching the development of my kids has shown me that in fact every child is different and it’s dangerous to compare kids. The child who is last in area today may be first tomorrow and vice versa. That’s why it always puzzles me when I hear people say things like “he’s the smart one” or “she’s the smart one.” How do you know who is the smart one is because one can stack blocks better than another? I think if you are gonna make assumptions about one child’s abilities over another, you should never assume the worst but always assume the absolute best.

Comments

  1. soooo sweet!!!!!!

  2. Thanks Stace. I hope some people find this helpful.

  3. Awww so true, I have three sisters and we were always labeled “the smart one” the funny one” ” the pretty one”, and I think we found ourselves acting like these roles because we were supposed to, when in reality I think we are all all of these things: all smart, all pretty, all funny. Roles people/parents place on kids are very limiting, thanks for addressing!!

    • Thanks Robyn for that! Maybe some of it is human nature, but we should really try to avoid doing this to our kids. Labels are limiting (even the ones that we think are positive) and it’s not fair to our kids. Some of these labels also start when kids are really young which is interesting because we have so little evidence at that point as who our kids are in many ways.Thanks Robyn.

  4. I dislike labels and I dislike them even more when adults place them on their children. I have seen countless of young promising lives being side tracked and even ruined by society and even their parents placing labels on kids.
    I, myself, am a victim of being labeled an average student, by my own mother, who spent more moments telling everyone that my brother had a genius IQ. Even to this day, when I speak of my oldest boy, she says he reminds her of my brother. Rather insulting, is it not? It is. I have spent many hours trying to convince her that I was just as smart as my brother, to no avail. And Now? I have two kids a boy and a girl, I make it a point, to say to everyone who will hear me that my children are smart. That my oldest is my heart and the baby is my soul. In other words, they have my unconditional love.

    • Thanks for that Azalia. I wish more parents understood this and how painful it can be for kids. Every child is gifted in their own way and I think we should be careful how we compliment our children especially as it relates to intelligence. Saying that that one child is mart when their is more than one child in the household implies that the others are not.

      Some kids can shake this stuff off (not that they should have to) and other’s can’t because it is difficult given the fact that it is coming from your parent. Sometimes when I get a visitor and someone says such and such is smart, I jump in and say “they are all smart” because I don’t want my kids to think anything otherwise. I hate labels too.

  5. Mike Shane says:

    Interesting dialogue. Fact is that children are not born equal and they will never be. We see differences just in how people react to children they perceive to be cute or beautiful and those that they pass of as not that. Already at this point attention shifts and a label is placed even though not articulated.

    A more difficult issue for parents in my view is children have varying abilities and ways of learning. so kids need different levels of attention, different methodologies of learning and different environmental stimuli to develop their own abilities. Many parents fall short of being able to see the ability and determine what type of stimuli is needed and the stye for that development. Parents tend to apply the same brush stoke across and are challenged on how to help their children develop their innate abilites to their maximum potential.

    also, while we as parents may not subscribe to labeling, the world will be quick to label and categorize no matter what. This process starts in Pre-school and by 2nd grade if kids are not reaching a certain learning standard they will be labeled and differentiation will take place.. With our triplets I already see people flocking more to my 2 sons for their blue eyes than for my daughter who has green eyes. Just by the frequency with which people make comments. It’s so baffling.

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