Who Comes First In Your Household? The Spouse or The Kids?

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There are so many mommy wars going on right now that it is hard to keep. Should women put their families first or their careers first? Another is who should come first in the context of the family – the children or the spouse?

Giuliani Rancic, recently weighed in on the latter by telling US Weekly that her marriage comes first and her baby comes second. In the interview she said “We’re husband and wife, but we’re also best friends, and it’s funny because a lot of people, when they have kids, they put the baby first, and the marriage second. That works for some people. For us, I find, we put our marriage first and our child second, because the best thing we can do for him is have a strong marriage.”

Where should moms be putting their attention and where are you putting yours? Is it in your relationship with your partner or in your kids? Also, is it possible to give equal attention to both?

Comments

  1. I put my children first; my first priority is to them. My children did not make the decision to be here.
    I made that decision, as a mother they are part of me, they are everything I hold dear to my heart. My husband comes next and then myself. I am good with that. I had my first born at 42 and the baby at 44. I have had my time.Now its there time.Once they get a bit older I will put my marriage back to number 1. my baby will only be babies for so long my husband will always be my husband. But eventually my children will leave and I want them to know that they were my first priority.

    • Azalia, I agree with you. I definitely understand the perspective that kids need to see their parents in a healthy relationship and so that means our relationship with our partner needs to be important as well. That said, the parents are the adults in the room. We’ve had our time and our kids need us to make their safety and healthy development a priority. They can’t do that for themselves so we have to do that for them. So I think we have to be careful with the perspective that our children shouldn’t come first. I love my husband and I make time for “us”, but our kids need both of us to make them number our one priority.

  2. Its me again, weighing in on the above. I did not go to work today, because the baby had a very bad diaper rash and was not comfortable with anyone other than myself taking care of her. Anyways, I called my mom this morning , just to let her know that I would be home, and her response was ” that’s right children are your number one priority.” I guess this is why I feel the way I do, my mother always put us first. Its make me wonder, if society put our children first, would it be a better place?

    Azalia

  3. Its me again, weighing in on the above. I did not go to work today, because the baby had a very bad diaper rash and was not comfortable with anyone other than myself taking care of her. Anyways, I called my mom this morning , just to let her know that I would be home, and her response was ” that’s right children are your number one priority.” I guess this is why I feel the way I do, my mother always put us first. Its make me wonder, if society put our children first, would it be a better place?

    Azalia

    • That’s an interesting perspective. I suppose if your parents put you first and that was beneficial to you then you would probably have the view on family. We all have to do what works best for us, but if more parents did put children first I think the world would much be a better place. In that children would be safer, and happier with better self esteem.
      Again I understand the view that the well being of the parents and their relationship matter as well but I think we shouldn’t let our selfishness get in the way of our responsibility.

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